tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7177272362693412321.post303405514765676635..comments2023-12-18T18:24:10.818-05:00Comments on Brain Motes: New character, new short storyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14942473966296721736noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7177272362693412321.post-53728185321497824512011-01-18T07:48:28.760-05:002011-01-18T07:48:28.760-05:00Hey Mike,
Thanks for the feed back. I was going f...Hey Mike,<br />Thanks for the feed back. I was going for the creepy overly forward kind of thing, so I guess I am on the right track. I think I will leave the synopsis for now and revise it a little. Claire doesn't actually know if Frank is having an affair for sure until much later in the novel. She just suspects. I think it gives audiences a frame work to look at what I am posting. <br />Again, I really appreciate your encouragement!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14942473966296721736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7177272362693412321.post-26443819033645474722011-01-16T22:16:04.570-05:002011-01-16T22:16:04.570-05:00How about "zeal" or "in a fervor&qu...How about "zeal" or "in a fervor" instead of alacrity? As for Theresa, it's hard to say. If I ignore the synopsis, she comes across as a bit forward in a creepy sort of way. With the synopsis, I find her coming off more as a rival checking out the competition. In either case, it almost felt like she was a bit more familiar (almost clingy) with Clair and Anna than would be expected of someone you just met. I think I would have been a little wierded out too, but perhaps I read too much Stephen King.<br /><br />As for the synopsis itself, I think you have to decided what prejudices you want people to bring to the story. They always do, so it's more a matter of how you want to shape those prejudices before they get to your story. If you provide too few details, there may not be enough to "hook" the desired audience. Too many and you give away too much of the story.<br /><br />Now, all that being said, given just the little bit I've seen so far, I can say you've got at least one confirmed sale when you go to print... :-)<br /><br />- MikeVirtualchoirboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09599436863267379117noreply@blogger.com