Wednesday, May 2, 2012

First Report from the Front Lines of FLWL

Jeanne Tepper here reporting from the front lines of Free Lance Writer Land (FLWL).  The last ten days has seen an offensive of words thrown on the page at an unheard of rate, 3700 last week, over 800 so far today.  Will the attack never end?

I have been able to obtain an exclusive photo of the living quarters of a FLWL Native!  Bare and lacking some of the finer amenities to be sure, but the words coming out of the place, unbelievable!  

It can be a scary spot, this hidey hole of creative genius.  The occupant walks around muttering, "more conflict, the scene needs more conflict" and complaining about the cowboys, goth girls, and 300 lb. black women walking around in her head and talking to her.  There is a fine layer of hair littering the floor, pulled out while trying to figure out synonyms for "syncopated" and then realizing it was the wrong word anyway.

New websites, email addresses, and business cards are being ordered at an unbelievable rate.  Short stories are being submitted for publication, query letters are being sent out.  I have it on good authority there was even a meeting regarding technical writing involving, wait for it, the possibility of pay.  Pay is almost unheard of in this region of FLWL, although many citizens in other regions have pay and good pay at that.

This anonymous citizen has also noted that since she moved to FLWL time has actually slowed down.  "Yeah, my trainer emailed me this afternoon about the work out this morning and I thought to myself 'Did I work out this morning?' and then I realized that it was STILL Wednesday!"  Does FLWL exist in some sort of bizarre literary time warp that stretches each day into two?  Is there something in the air or water that makes each moment stick to you like peanut butter sticks to your ribs?  My source shrugs her shoulders.  "All I know is that I am continually asking myself is it still Wednesday?  I really get my days screwed up."  She does not seem to have a problem with it.  When asked if she would like to rejoin the rat race, the response is quick and unequivocal, "No way, I didn't expect that I would love living in FLWL so much, and let's face it I haven't lived here long.  But so far I love it and can't see myself moving back."


  1. It takes courage to take the plunge into FLWL, unrelenting optimism to survive and determintion and focus to succeed. Congrats and best wishes!

  2. I love seeing these snapshots of your venture into FLWL and how happy it has made you. I am betting I'm not the only one that is eagerly anticipating the day when we can say "We knew her back when..." and brag to our friends about the famous author we know. Keep up the great work!!